It was all about him this week.

He made my life as a Christian terribly difficult ever since he testified at the Senate last February 8. Because if thoughts could kill,then many of the people he mentioned are already dead. In my mind, I have already killed them. And not just one shot to the heart kill, no. It’s burning the flesh, spit & vomit, removing some body parts torture that I’d use to kill them.

God have mercy on me.

I just started working for the government. This just made me more angry because now I know, more than ever, the situation of government employees who are doing the hard-labor. Many of them have dedicated their whole lives to serve the people and they get less than 150 thousand a year. And then you hear about one person getting $1 million dollars with just one deal? That’s bull—. And these people who have dedicated their lives to government service, I expected that they would have said something like, “grabe naman yang mga corrupt gov’t official natin, yung perang kinokorakot nila, kahit ma lang konti sana bawasan nila ng madagdagan naman ng kahit konti yung sweldo natin.
Those are my sentiments exactly. But you know what they said?
I’m not exaggerating, every single person that I’ve talked to in the office expressed the same thing. They said, “imaginin mo na lang yung perang kinokorakot nila kung binigay nila sa milyong-milyon Pilipinong naghihirap edi wala ng mahirap sa Pilipinas ngayon“. —- What? They can still afford to think about the welfare of others at this point? PLEASE. Join me in my cursing na. Okay, I give up. Yes there may be too much evil in what we see and hear on TV about the government but there are also too much goodness in the hearts of people that’s just overwhelming. I am deeply humbled.

Me: O Lord, are you not from everlasting?
Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrong.
Why then do you tolerate the treacherous?
Why are you silent while the wicked swallow up those more righteous than themselves? (Habakkuk 1:12a, 13)

Him: Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret — it only leads to evil. The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash their teeth at them;But the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming (Ps. 37: 1-2, 8, 12-13).

Me: But how long pa? It’s been like forever.

Him: I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge uprightly. (Ps. 75:2)

Me: Fine. But yeah, okay, do whatever you want with those evil shameless men. But at least, give justice naman to those who are faithful. I understand it’s not about money. But I’m not saying you give them all the riches in this world, just you know give them a little more so their kids could also enjoy abit dba. P14k. Hello? The manong drivers earn about P6-7k. God, ano ba yan.

Him:But the needy will not always be forgotten,nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish (Ps. 9: 18)But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it and take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you;you are the helper of the fatherless.

You hear O Lord the desire of the afflicted;you encourage them, and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more(Ps. 10: 14, 17-18).

Me: Okay. But can I ask you something? Could you at least just give one of those evil men a stroke that will paralyze him but keep him alive so he’ll suffer? Cmown, let one of them suffer a little bit. Or, better yet, have one of those super big trucks just crush them while they’re traveling. But keep them alive so they’ll suffer more. Cge na, even just one of them. So it will at least give them an example that it could happen to them and rightly so, because of all people who face tragedy, they’re the very ones who deserve it. Cmown, we both know they deserve it more than those people who are just living their lives the best way they can and one night, they just get hit by a truck.

Him: Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? (Rom. 14: 4) Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Matt. 7: 1-2)

Me: Um, okay. I shut up now. Lest I be judged. Right, I’m sorry. But God I can’t help it so bear with me, just until all these emotions subside. God, and now pa that I’m working for the government na, in one way or another these people are actually my bosses right?

Him: Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men. Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you ednure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth. (Is. 53:9)

When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. (1 Pet. 2: 13, 18-21, 23-25)

Me: Okay. But that’s Jesus. Nyah, hehe. I get it Dad. Becoming like Jesus is really painful ha. But yeah, I understand.

Him: Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, “whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech…he must seek peace and pursue it.” (Ps. 34: 12)

Me: Huhuhu. Okay, okay, stop! I get it na!

Alright, I’ll stop. I can forego the others but with this Abalos guy, with all due respect Dad coz I know he’s your masterpiece too,but I’m just warning you it will be very challenging when it comes to him. The thought of his face alone makes me sick. Sorry.

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Hm, Dad, lastly, I’m taking back my request that you send some disaster or sickness that will make them suffer. No, I take it back. COz I know that once people face tragedy or become really sick or disabled, they usually realize they are not the god of their lives simply because no matter how much they try to control things, they can’t control everything. So then, they’ll come to you na and ask for your mercy. Oh no. I know, I’m sorry. But with everything they’ve done, I just can’t pray for their salvation yet. No Dad, not yet.

What I could only do now, is to join you in your laughter. As you said, you “laugh at them because you know their day is coming”.

So HAHAHA to the nth power to YOU evil corrupt shameless coward lazy thieves!
Good luck to your souls!

Ah, on the last note, cge na nga, they’re really such a pity. Especially Abalos Dad. I don’t know his story but he may have been so deprived when he was just a child. He must have gone through a lot of hurt and pain that’s why he’s so desperate trying to accumulate large amounts of money in any way just so he could forget about his pain. The thought of him in agony every night before he sleeps wondering why after all he’s done,the emptiness remains — oh Dad, this is just too sad and painful. Oh boy. Dad, you gave me such a weak heart for people, evil men included. Hmp!

All this time I’ve been imagining pa naman spitting on him when I get the chance to meet him but now…I don’t think I’ll be able to do that na.